The calendar is NOT my friend

I can't believe in a week I will be a single mom. H leaves the 29th and I am not ready. I will get to see him mid-September, but then he will be gone for about 5 months at tech school, then we will be moving. When I think of it like that I semi-panic. I mean, yes I am excited to move to a new place, but at the same time scared to leave the familiar. What if we get stationed somewhere cold. I hate cold weather! What if we get stationed over-seas? I will have to learn a new language. Hello I'm just getting to understand H when he speaks Spanish! My panic has become so bad that I've even contemplated me just staying here for a few months after we get H's station… Is that so bad? I mean we can't sell the condo until June of this upcoming year and with the way the market is we won't really make any money, etc, etc. But I would love to get a house somewhere nicer. I don't know. I'm just really unsure of things. I don't think H realizes how much I feel like I'm sacrificing for him to do this. Yes, I realize he will be going through a hard time in basic and then when he's training being separated from Aidan and I. But he only has to worry about himself. As where I have to worry about bills and Aidan and work and everything else. I'm freaking out!

Also I am also PO'd at friends and family. Well my mom understands since she is the product of a military family and was married to a military man. But my friends and Johnn's family don't get it. His family keeps asking what I'm going to do while Johnn is gone. What the hell do you think I'm going to do?! I'm going to do the same thing I'm doing now. Work and well work! The only thing that will be different is I will be going to bed without the hubby. My friends are pissing me off because whenever the subject of Johnn being gone comes up they say "we will hang out!". Yeah. Right. Because we hang out so much now. It'll be even harder when I don't have anyone to watch Aidan so I can get out of the house. I just know I will be lonely and sad :*( I wish things would have worked out to where the condo was rented out and I could quit my job and move up north to my mom's. We went up there this past weekend because my cousin was in town from Texas visiting (he's in the AF). It was so nice. Aidan and I played outside in the grass, slid down my little bro and sis's treehouse slide. All things you can not do in the 110+ degree weather in the valley. I wish we could have stayed at least another day :(

Well I only meant for this to be a tiny quick thing, but I guess I needed to get a lot out ;p So if you made it through the whole thing you deserve a cookie!